The Art of Being A Bacchanalis

 

Be honest …we all have a lil bacchnalis in all of us…but some people are “full time monthly paid ready to draw pension” bacchanalis fuss they doing it so long. These are pro-fess-ionals

1. A.B.L (Always be lurking):

For a bacchanalis …a bacchanal is like a carefully watched pot…that they see simmering and they are just waiting for the right time to drop in the pepper. In other words, they are always close to the comess…circling like a corbeaux just waiting ….and when the time is right says the words to start something or snatch juicy bits of news to carry. You know who ah mean…..That relative that always seem to show up from behind the door when yuh telling yuh business to yuh cousin and getting to the juicy part…or that co worker watching yuh in yuh mouth when you are trying to have a private conversation

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2. Always instigate:

A bacchanalis must know just what to say….

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3. Keep track of your lies aka half-truths.

This is a 24hr job that requires diligence. They need to keep track of each juicy exaggerated detail, alleged sources and implicators (yes we made up a word)

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4. Award winning storytellers

Keep people in suspense. Start with a juicy intro then take their time to deliver small irrelevant information but never give away the whole story.

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5. Always and we mean they always keep their names out of it or else their bacchanal days will be over

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6. Appear sympathetic to the subject’s plight

…after all they are only talking about you to “help” you…it’s because they care...they don’t enjoy talking about people

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7. Convince all parties involved in the discussion that it’s not “bad talking” if it’s true….

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8. They duplicitous

Never publically pick sides...however do so privately..they are friends with everybody and nobody

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 9. Always offer advice that benefit no one and only stokes the fire

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10.Prepare for Karma to box them hard later on.

What goes around….

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11. Finally they never get caught…if they do…Deny ,Deny , Deny,

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If you detect any of these behaviours in your friends, co workers, classmates, tanty…neighba

  1. STOP telling dem yuh business
  2. Don’t give your opinion on anybody’s business don’t be an active participant
  3. If you don’t know anyone who behaves this way…and you smiled to yourself while reading our list…chances are you my friend are a bacchanalis
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